what actually happened over winter holidays
by rosesandcigarettes
Summary: James and Lily find themselves at a crossroads when they discover something new together in fifth year that only they can know about.


James Potter was in love. It was a hard idea to grasp, especially to someone like him. As he grappled with this mind-blowing idea, it was almost as if the universe had heard his thoughts. He quickly pushed a hand through his hair and adjusted his glasses.

"Alright there, Evans?" James grinned at Lily Evans as she walked by. She glanced at him sideways through her piercing green eyes, and then proceeded to walk away, pretending she never heard him speak.

Leaning against a wall, his own eyes followed Lily's bright red head until the end of the hall, where she made a right, obscuring her from his vision. His grin dropped, and he sighed. It was his fifth year at Hogwarts, the wizarding school, and she had not fallen for his previous attempts, though he was creative with them. He didn't understand. He tried so hard to get in her good books, and it never seemed to work. Well, that was an exaggeration. Still thinking, he pushed himself off the wall of the corridor and started walking to his next class, Transfiguration. Well, he guessed he could see why she didn't like him. _Maybe I shouldn't have screamed at her to go on a date with me all the way from across the Great Hall._ Well, what's done was done. His train of thought was brutally interrupted by his best friend, Sirius Black, punching him in the arm.

"Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed, using their friend group's pet name for him. James gave him a dirty look and continued walking down the corridor.

"What happened?" Sirius asked. James was startled. Sirius showing concern was rare. James looked at him through the corner of his eye, to see Sirius grinning at him. He sighed.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Sirius nodded, walking in silence, appearing to be lost in his own thoughts.

James looked up, finally arriving at Transfiguration. The two boys walked in together, obnoxiously yelling hello at their teacher, Professor McGonagall. She was writing on the chalkboard, only pausing to glare at the two boys, and then resumed her writing. James and Sirius sat down at the back of the started to copy down McGonagall's notes. However disruptive the boys were, he loved transfiguration. He had a natural flair for it, and he enjoyed doing it.

Immersed in his work, he didn't realize that Lily had walked into their classroom, laughing with her best friend Marlene. He quickly looked up, his hand immediately going to his hair. She didn't even look at him, but still sat at the table directly next to him. James sat up in his chair and grinned at Sirius, who had seen Lily enter as well. Sirius smirked back at James and opened his mouth to say something (no doubt a jibe at him always staring at Lily), when their professor started to lecture. She was demonstrating how to turn a paperclip into a sock, which James could have done in his sleep.

Zoning out, he stared at Lily, putting his head onto his hand. She was vigorously writing notes, only looking up to see when McGonagall did something new. She was beautiful, in a natural way. Her fiery hair fell over her shoulder, and he had to resist the urge to lean over and push it back. Her eyes were so pretty, too. Green eyes, that looked like emeralds. Green eyes, that… were glaring right at him.

"Something on my face, _Potter_?" she hissed, contempt clear in her face. He quickly turned away, heat slowly rising in his cheeks. Sirius chuckled quietly, clearly having watched their exchange. James turned back to McGonagall, his mind a million miles away.

Lily: Lily was taking notes as fast as she could to keep up with her professor in transfiguration. She couldn't get rid of the feeling that someone was staring at her, but she ignored it. Eventually, it got too annoying. Scanning around the room, she found that she was right. James Potter was staring right at her, with a glazed look over his eyes. It appeared that he didn't even realize he was looking at her, or that she was even looking back. She got angry. How dare he even look at her, after coming after her best friend, Severus Snape every single day? She hissed,

"Something on my face, Potter?" trying to express as much hatred as possible in that one sentence. He quickly sat up straight, his glasses almost falling off his face in his frenzy. She stifled a laugh and went back to writing. _Why was he staring at me in the first place, anyway?_ She thought as she wrote. Almost as if her best friend, Marlene could read her mind, she leaned over and tapped on her shoulder.

"Psst! Lily!" Lily nodded, not looking up from her notes. Marlene was silent. Lily, shut her notebook quietly, and inconspicuously turned to the side to face Marlene. Her usually smiling face was solemn.

"Why do you still reject him so brutally?" she whispered. Lily almost sighed out loud. She was so sick of Marlene asking her this every time it happened.  
"It's clearly him just trying his hardest to humiliate me!" she snapped back, still whispering. Marlene looked shocked, but was interrupted by Professor McGonagall, who had stopped lecturing the class and was glaring at the two of them. Lily cleared her throat and turned back around, paying attention yet again. She sneaked a glance at James. He was writing notes down, but she couldn't help but look at him a little more. His mouth was bent down in a frown, and his glasses were slowly slipping off his nose. He had a nice face, she supposed. His hair was still an unruly mop of black hair, but his jawline and nose were angular and nicely shaped. He was quite attractive. _Quite attractive? Where did that come from? _Lily felt her face turning red. She shook herself out of her stupor and went back to listening to the lecture, wondering why she had even thought that.

James Potter was an arrogant toerag, who was mean to her friends, and she did not tolerate that. Still, she stole another peek at him. He was laughing with Sirius, and it lit up his whole face. The bell rang, and Lily, still shocked at herself, pulled her stuff together and walked out into the halls, distracted. So distracted, in fact, that she happened to crash into a warm mass of muscle. About to apologize hastily, she looked up. James had both his hands on her shoulders, trying to stabilize the both of them, while laughing softly at her. She stood up straight, shaking his hands off her shoulders, and said  
"Get out of my way, Potter," as she was about to walk away. His smile slid off his face, and Sirius, who had been waiting for James to come, scowled at her. She felt bad. That was quite rude, wasn't it? Taking a deep breath, she turned around, and said softly,

"Sorry for crashing into you." Before she could see his reaction, she quickly walked down the hallway, while shaking her head and her cheeks turning red.

James: He rubbed the back of his head in awe as he watched Lily almost jogging down the hall. Sirius sighed, clapped him on the back, and said

"Well, Prongs, if you were more red, I would've mistaken you for a tomato." James shook his head, laughing, and walked down the hallway. His spirits were significantly better, and he threw his arm around Sirius, laughing all the way until they had to split. The rest of the day seemed to fly by, and James was so preoccupied that he didn't notice getting yelled at by three of his professors, failing a test, or getting tripped by a snickering Slytherin on his way to lunch. He forced himself to calm down. He couldn't get used to this. Lily was never kind to him. _But I always deserved it,_ he chided himself. Suddenly, his happy mood faded, and he felt extremely tired. Wearily, he pushed his way up to the Gryffindor common room, just wanting to go to bed. But, of course, Lily was there. She was reading a textbook, and almost falling asleep. He almost laughed out loud. She was so cute. Almost as if she had sensed his presence, she looked up, and saw him. He fidgeted, not knowing what to say; whether she would yell at him or not. To his relief, she smiled and waved him over. Nervously, he approached her.

Lily:

Lily didn't know why she invited him over. Perhaps she felt bad because he looked so nervous, or that she was just in a nicer mood at that moment. Either way, she hoped she didn't regret it. She had been struggling with a transfiguration spell for the past half an hour, and was seriously in danger of falling asleep. At least, she _had been _in danger of falling asleep, until James walked into the common room. She didn't know why her heart was racing. Maybe it was because he walked in so quietly, that she almost didn't realize he was there at all. Maybe. He walked over, running his hand through his hair repeatedly and sheepishly smiling. For a moment, neither of them said anything to each other. Then, she sighed.  
"I know I'm going to regret this, but I need your help." James stood frozen for a second, before coming to his senses, his arrogant smile creeping back onto his face.  
"Of course, Evans. Anytime! As you know, my skills range widely, from-" she cut him off. "I don't need lessons in _snogging, _Potter, I need help with transfiguration." His haughty facade slipped for a second, before he caught himself, and beamed at her.

"Definitely, Evans, what do you need?" Lily slid off the couch, and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table. She patted the ground next to her.

"Sit, Potter." When Lily invited him to sit next to her and help, she didn't know if it was going to work out. Yet, he proved to be an extraordinary tutor. After cracking a few jokes, and seeing that she was losing her already stretched patience, he sat down and got serious. Helping her with the correct way to flick her wrist, and then correcting her homework after she had finished it, and explaining the answers and what she got wrong really helped her. It was almost as if he made her _understand_ it better, which was hard when it came to Lily and Transfiguration. She watched him as he talked to her animatedly, motioning with his wand hand what she was supposed to do with hers. Instead of looking at his wand, however, she was staring at his face, and slowly she grinned. James, looking up at her from his wrist, stopped talking.

"What is it? Have I got something on my face?" she didn't know if this was a jab at what she had said earlier that day, but he quickly wiped his face on his jumper and brushed his hand through his hair. He was _nervous_, she noted, amused. After a second, she realized he was waiting for her to respond.

"No, no. I had just come to the conclusion that perhaps James Potter finally cared about his schoolwork for once," she joked. James put his hand on his heart and pouted at her in mock offense.

"Me? I have worked hard to develop a reputation of not caring about schoolwork. I simply don't understand how you could accuse me of something so terrible!" At this point, she couldn't help it. She burst out laughing, snorting and giggling for a solid five minutes before finally wiping all the tears from her eyes. She slowly stopped laughing, to find James staring at her with a kind of awe in his eyes.

"What?" she asked, not unkindly. He shook his head.

"Nevermind! Anyway, you flick your wrist to the _right._ When I was watching you, I noticed you flicked it to the _left_, and I strongly believe that's where you went wrong," he continued as if nothing had happened. But Lily felt it, that something had changed between them. Perhaps she was wrong.

James:

Watching Lily laugh was like watching the stars light up around him. She threw back her head, and smiled with her bright teeth. Her eyes seemed to change color, but he didn't know if that was because of the firelight. He hadn't realized he was staring at her until she stopped laughing, and asked him if he was alright. Quickly, he recovered and continued, though he couldn't help but wonder if something had truly changed. He made her laugh, and she was being so nice to him and had even asked him for help with something. He didn't know what to do, but he didn't want to ruin this perfect moment they were sharing. He finished helping her with her homework, and as the moment died away, they were left looking at each other across from the flickering shadows of the flames. She cleared her throat.

"Thank you for helping me. It really made me understand it a lot better, and I'm going to come to you in the future if I have any trouble." after a moment, he nodded and spoke softly.

"I'd like that, Evans." she continued to look at him, but it was no longer the contempt and hatred he saw in her eyes, but rather soft vulnerability. He got up, slowly, not breaking eye contact with her, and walked backwards towards the stairs to the boys dormitory. Unfortunately, while he walked backwards he also crashed into a table, which almost sent everything on it crashing down, but he caught it. Must've been the Quidditch instincts. He looked back at Lily, to see her covering her mouth with her hands, stifling a laugh. He shook his head, and said,

"Good night, Lily." He almost kicked himself. When did he ever call her Lily? She called him Potter, he called her Evans. Not expecting a response, he turned to walk up the stairs, when he just barely heard her whisper:

"Good night, James." He flashed a grin at her, and then ran up the stairs into his shared room. Jumping onto the bed in elation, he almost didn't notice his other three roommates, who were clearly questioning his sanity.


End file.
